The Same Desires for Connection

img_1908In a recent article by Hilary Jacobs Hendel she states that men and women both have the same desires for connection. She alludes to the fact that culture encourages men to sublimate their tender and needy feelings into sexual desire. What really interests me in this article is the implication that men and boys are not owning their full range of emotions and thereby not realizing their fully authentic selves. This is due to the narrow definition of masculinity that society imposes on it’s males. So, the question for me is if society were to expand it’s definition of masculinity to include the full range of emotions, that men experience as a consequence of being HUMAN, would or could the release of male authenticity trigger a renaissance in human relations? And, thereby decrease the need for power and put an end to sexual violence? Hendel goes on to recommend four things that men and women can do to help men realize their authentic selves. Of these four is the practice of emotional expressiveness, inviting men to share their feelings of vulnerability and shame without judging them. It is my belief that emotional expressiveness without judgement is what will bring an end to sexual assault.


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